#8 Update

#8 Update

Number 8 on my 30 before 30 List: Update Blog!

Not sure how to sum up a whole year and a half in one blog post. I haven’t done much as far as art goes. A few projects here and there but I don’t even know if I took photos of them! Of course I have a bazillion photos of Julia!  Here are some memorable moments. Enjoy : )

Julia's first wedding!
Julia’s first wedding!
Julia's 1st Halloween
Julia’s 1st Halloween
Julia's 2nd Halloween
Julia’s 2nd Halloween
Go Giants!
Go Giants!
Julia's first Thanksgiving
Julia’s first Thanksgiving
Julia's First Christmas
Julia’s First Christmas
2nd Christmas
2nd Christmas
Julia's 1st winter
Julia’s 1st winter
Julia's 2nd Winter
Julia’s 2nd Winter
Baptism
Baptism
Julia's 1st Easter
Julia’s 1st Easter
Julia's 1st camping trip
Julia’s 1st camping trip
Julia's 1st Birthday!
Julia’s 1st Birthday!
Julia's 1st vacation
Julia’s 1st vacation
1st haircut
1st haircut
Bonding
Bonding
Table Setting

Table Setting

I know it’s been over six months and I am still blogging about our wedding haha. BUT it was so busy after the wedding with the holidays, our honeymoon and NOW I am working on growing our baby girl 🙂

Anyway, I wanted to share the reasoning behind our table names. We ultimately decided to go with our favorite locations but had tossed around the ideas of our favorite hiking trails, words relating to love, words related to marriage, favorite places to eat or favorite vacation spots.

Seating Chart
photo by Liz Chack

Our table names:

Salt Lake City – Where Chris’s brother Andy got married which doubled for our first family vacation with the Halls.

Schuylerville – Where we bought our first home together.

Caroline St – Where we first met 🙂

Malta Drive In – One of our favorite date night places and also where we attempted to take Patty and she jumped out the car window and ran into the snack stand kitchen!

Pharaoh Mtn – The first time Chris met my mom and brother on an overnight hike which turned out to be a complete nightmare of black flies and squeezing four people in a two person tent!

Saratoga – When we first started dating we both had an apartment in Saratoga.

Amigos – Our favorite Mexican restaurant. Best margaritas ever!

Dog Park – Patty’s favorite place.

Myrtle Beach – Where we got engaged 🙂

Congress Park – One of our first dates we spent walking around downtown Saratoga and ate lunch in Congress Park.

Virginia Beach – Our first vacation together.

Race Track – One of our favorite places to go in the summer. We never win anything but always have a great time!

Stadium Café – One of our favorite restaurants in Saratoga.

Canal Trail – One of Patty’s favorite trails.

Battlefield  – Where we took Patty on her first long walk and one of our favorite places to go walking and talk about everything and nothing.

Maine – Our healing trip after the loss of our baby girls.

I can’t take credit for the beta fish centerpiece idea…that was ALL Chris! We did half of the tables with fish and half of them with lemons. To give away the centerpieces, since we didn’t want to go home with like 10 fish, our DJ announced that whoever had the next birthday at each table got to take home the centerpiece. For the table names I bought wooden hearts from the craft store and wood burned the lettering. Then we had our florist add a floating flower to each of the fish ones.

As far as the rest of the table goes, my mom graciously offered to make all of the table runners. I had no clue what I wanted when I went to the fabric store so we just picked what jumped out at us. The candles are actually citronella candles to keep away any pesky bugs. Good thing yellow was one of my wedding colors because I could not find any white ones!

I hand made all of the favors/place tags and bouquet holders.

photo by Rob Spring
photo by Rob Spring
photo by Rob Spring
photo by Rob Spring
wedding table setting
photo by Rob Spring
Sweetheart table setting
photo by Liz Chack
Wedding Favors

Wedding Favors

I grew up as the “artist of the family” so when it came to my wedding I knew I had to step it up! For the favors I wanted to make something that wouldn’t go straight to the trash on the way out. I decided to combine the place cards and favors into one. I loved the way they came out and I love seeing them now 6 months later still sitting on mantels and bookshelves of my friends and family! For the kids I bought spinning light up toys that I thought would be fun to dance with throughout the night.

All photos by Rob Spring
photo by Rob Spring
Wedding favors
photo by Rob Spring
photo by Liz Chack
photo by Liz Chack

There was a beautiful tree coming up through part of the deck where I hung the seating chart.

photo by Liz Chack
photo by Liz Chack
T-Givs

T-Givs

My husband has this thing with abbreviating EVERYTHING and for the past 3 years he has been trying to get “t-givs” to catch on…keep trying babe!

Besides forgetting to take out the gizzards for the first 45 mins the bird was in the oven, our Thanksgiving dinner for 11 went perfectly! I didn’t get too creative with the table setting this year besides adding a scratch off lotto ticket to each place setting. Dad won $4 woot!

 

My 5 yr old nephew made us this turkey centerpiece made out of a potato, feathers and other various craft supplies. SO CUTE! Last year he made one out of a brown paper bag and construction paper cut outs of his hand prints.

Cardboard Playhouse

Cardboard Playhouse

As you know my mom and I throw a huge kids Halloween party each year. We usually go all out and spend an entire day building a haunted house. This year we decided to have a “merry not scary” party for the younger ones. Since we didn’t want them to get scared we made playhouses instead. Mom spray painted cardboard boxes a solid color and I added the characters! A little bit of copyright infringement going on haha. The kids had so much fun playing “trick or treat” with the buckets of candy we placed inside each house.  It was chaos most of the day but so much fun! We played pin the tail on the cat, pass the pumpkin, find your prize bucket and had a pull string pinata! Oh and had our annual costume parade and contest! This year I made my husband dress up as Goofy. He’s such a good sport haha

Lights strung up through each house provided perfect hide out lighting.

My “helpers” Love these girls!

Stayed up half the night making dirt cups, mini sandwiches, taco dip, jello cups, cupcakes and probably other things I can’t remember.

Leave Us Some Love

Leave Us Some Love

Along with a guest book we had these custom cut mattes out at our wedding for guests to sign. I used scrapbook paper to fill in the photo hole and wrote “Leave us some LOVE” Obviously I plan of adding my favorite photos from the wedding once I receive them from the photographer. I bought a third matching frame for this sunflower print I bought over the summer. I had sunflowers in my bouquet so I thought it would tie in well with my “wedding wall” as I have been calling it. I also added one of those wall quotes that reads “A true love story never ends”

That’s George (like George of the jungle) the giant plant in the corner and yes those are Halloween decorations sneaking in 🙂

 

 

Lily Mae

Lily Mae

Ever since I lost my own little ones I find it very difficult to welcome new little ones into my life. Before August 4th 2011 I would have been the first in line at the hospital to welcome a new baby, first one to want to hold them and ogle over how beautiful they are and congratulate the new parents and grandparents. Now I don’t even go to the hospital, dread seeing photos on Facebook and avoid the new parents and grandparents. I feel hardened, cold, heartless and jealous. I want my old self back. I wanted to be strong enough to go and welcome my first niece into this world…but I wasn’t. I was calm on the outside and screaming on the inside.

I’m not ready. Not ready to see my parents holding a new grandchild. It is such a huge trigger of emotions. All I can think about is my parents holding our lifeless babies. I hate that I caused them so much pain.

Part of me feels like when I accept and welcome a new baby into my life I am replacing my baby girls. I know this is not the case at all…nonetheless the feeling is there and it’s hard to shrug off.

I hate this new hardened self I’ve become.

I do want to be as close to Lily as I am to Johnathan…it will just take some time to get used to. I really tried to turn my feelings around. I even made these paintings with Johnathan the night before his little sister arrived. I had some blank canvases lying around and dug out my old acrylic craft paints and let him go at it!

 

And how the hell do you start again? If you have suffered (especially your first pregnancy) a miscarriage, still birth or infant death…how do you get to that next step of trying again? Although my situation was so rare, it doesn’t stop me from thinking it will happen again. I know I will regret not trying to have kids again. But I also know it will absolutely kill me to lose another baby. The doctor said my chances are still the same as every other woman of having a miscarriage. One in six. ONE IN SIX!

How do you even enjoy a second pregnancy after a loss? Will the kicking and morning sickness just be another trigger of emotions? How do you sleep at night knowing something could go wrong again?